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Keeping romance alive during the pandemic hasn’t been easy for many, but there has been an upside: People have been forced to deal with each other as they are, and not as they imagine.
The downside? Cliche and perfunctory Valentine’s Day gifts like candy and flowers just don’t cut it anymore. This year’s gift needs to prove that you appreciate your valentine for their authentic self.
And that means authentically weird.
Lucky for you, HuffPost Weird News has once again done the heavy lifting of searching through vast possibilities of gift ideas to present the choicest for every valentine.
Whether that means giving a giant rubber chicken, a vat of chocolate hummus or a bong shaped like the male sex organ, we’ve got you covered.
Check out the Valentine’s Day 2021 selection of weird gifts:
Jessica Simpson has hilariously weighed in on Subway's latest lawsuit.
This month, the fast food giant was sued for fraud by two plaintiffs who claim the sandwich chain doesn't use actual tuna in its tuna sandwiches. The fast-food giant denied the claims on Friday, writing, "There is simply no truth to the allegations in the complaint that was filed in California. Subway delivers 100% cooked tuna to its restaurants, which is mixed with mayonnaise and used in freshly made sandwiches, wraps and salads that are served to and enjoyed by our guests."
Enter Simpson, who on Friday reacted to the viral news story on Twitter.
"It's OK @SUBWAY. It IS confusing," the singer, who is 40, tweeted.
JESSICA SIMPSON SHARES MAKEUP-FREE SELFIE WITH DAUGHTER BIRDIE MAE: 'TONGUE TWISTER'
The mother of three's tweet comes 17 years after she admitted she was unsure if she was eating chicken or tuna when consuming Chicken of the Sea tuna.
"Is this chicken what I have, or is this fish? I know it's tuna, but it says chicken...by the sea?" Simpson asked Lachey during the 2003 episode of their former MTV reality show, "Newlyweds: Nick & Jessica."
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Lachey, who was shocked by his then-wife's request, tried explaining: "'Chicken of the Sea' is the brand because, you know, a lot of people eat tuna, and a lot of people eat chicken, so it's like 'Chicken of the Sea.'"
"I understand now, I read it wrong," Simpson replied.
Jessica Simpson poked fun at herself on Friday while reacting to Subway's recent lawsuit which accuses the sandwich chain of failing to use real tuna in their food. (Raymond Hall/GC Images)
The iconic moment in TV history quickly went viral, haunting Simpson for years. It even ended up being included in a "Saturday Night Live" sketch about the couple featuring Jimmy Fallon and Justin Timberlake. Simpson's tweet on Friday, however, shows she's now able to laugh at herself for the mix-up after all these years.
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Simpson and Lachey divorced in 2006 after three years of marriage. The "With You" singer is now married to former NFL pro Eric Johnson. The couple shares three kids.
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If there is one thing about Deshaun Watson's personality, he's not going to let controversy kill his vibe.
With a few exceptions, Watson remained positive during the Texans' failed 2020 season, despite the pattern of losing.
And even as his trade request looms, on the day the Texans introduce their new head coach, Watson still carries a smile and appears upbeat.
Watson hung out with legends Michael Vick and Deion Sanders among others for about an hour Friday night for the NFL Pro Bowl Verzuz event. It's themed after the Verzuz brand which became popular with musical artists trading hits in a friendly battle format during the pandemic.
Here, the quarterbacks Watson and Vick traded highlights. Sanders was one of the moderators along with MJ Acosta-Ruiz.
Late into the session, Sanders praises Watson for being an inspiration to the next generation.
"The whole hood, everybody and they mama wanted to be like Mike Vick. Now, this generation, they want to do what you do because of the way you do what you do and you always classy and professional, man," Sanders said. "And I love that about you, my brother."
Then Sanders just couldn't help himself.
"They told me not to ask you nothing about where you going but I can't wait to see where you going, so you can take that with you, too."
All laughs in response, but no one's really joking.
Watson's response to Sanders?
"You've got my cell. Hit me up."
Of course, this is much different than what Texans first-year general manager Nick Caserio and first-year head coach David Culley had to say earlier Friday, when they were adamant about not trading Watson.
The sides are on opposite ends, and while Caserio was non-committal on a timeline for when all of this needs to be cleared up, it's now clear how big a task this is in front of him.
The public had not heard from Watson directly since the end of the season and this provides some insight.
That lack of organizational foundation and need for a culture shift from the Texans' status quo, which Watson spoke about a length toward the end of the season, is reaching its breaking point.
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Super Bowl weekend will be full of big firsts for Dan Levy.
On Feb. 6, the night before the big game, the star will make his debut as host of Saturday Night Live. Then on Sunday, Feb. 7, Levy will appear in his first Super Bowl commercial for M&M's candy.
"It is a one-two punch of things that I never dreamed of for myself," Levy, 37, tells PEOPLE exclusively. "It's a strange time to have lovely things happen. At the same time, I think it's so important to really sit and acknowledge the good things that happen, considering how strange these times are. So my plan is to really soak in all of it and have as much fun as I possibly can."
Levy, whose hit comedy Schitt's Creek came to an end after six seasons in April and swept the Emmy Awards in September, says it was "a very easy decision" to be a part of the candy company's Super Bowl campaign.
"I've always really admired the M&M's commercials. They've always been self-aware and funny and bright," says Levy. "I was walked through what this spot would be and I was in, I was hooked. It's a very rare opportunity that you read something and you're like, 'I have no hesitation, reservation—thank you very much, the answer is yes.'"
RELATED: Dan Levy Teases the Possibility of a Schitt's Creek Movie, Calls Emmy Wins 'Highlight of the Year'
While Levy can't spill the beans yet about the plot of the ad—although the teaser hints at a gender reveal gathering gone wrong—he says he's proud of how "well- intentioned and fun" the final commercial turned out to be.
"The goal of the spot is just about connecting people and finding ways to bring people together, especially coming out of a pretty strange and tumultuous year," says the Happiest Season actor. "I think it's such a hopeful little spot. It is funny and sweet, and I can't wait for everyone to see it."
M&M's will release the full 30-second commercial during a virtual premiere on Wednesday, Feb. 3 at 9 a.m. EST. The event will be hosted by its "spokescandy" Yellow and will include surprise guests, according to the brand. Fans who are interested in attending the Zoom event can visit MMS.com/Superbowl to register.
M&Ms
RELATED: Dan Levy Makes His Sexiest Man Alive Issue Debut, Jokes 'This Form of Sexy Is a Niche Market'
While Levy says will certainly be watching Super Bowl 55 from home, he admits that the matchup between the defending Super Bowl champion Kansas City Chiefs and the Tampa Bay Buccaneers is not as interesting to him as the other aspects of game day.
"I usually watch the halftime show and I watch the ads, and I will try my best to get through the whole game this year," he says. "But I can't say that I understand football—so that's on me."
"I was once recruited for my high school football team, and that's the closest that I have come to the sport outside of just being a very annoying person at a Super Bowl party—not that we're having them any time soon," says the star, who made his debut in PEOPLE's Sexiest Man Alive issue in November. "But previously and historically, I was always the person saying, 'Why do they have to start that whole thing again? Why does he keep running outside the lines? Okay, I don't understand this.' And people eventually being, like, 'Okay, can you go into another room or just be quiet?'"
RELATED: How the 2021 Super Bowl Will Be Different Because of the COVID-19 Pandemic
As for the other big event of the weekend, Levy says that hosting on SNL for the first time will be "a highlight of my life."
"SNL is something that I have honestly dreamed about since I was a very precocious elementary school student. It is a dream come true," says the first-time host, who will be joined by musical guest Phoebe Bridgers. "And then to follow it on a Sunday with a Super Bowl spot that I'm just so proud of, it's going to be a weekend to remember for sure."
Super Bowl 55 will air on CBS on Feb. 7 at 6:30 p.m. EST.
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NILES — Miss Marcie, “The Joke Lady” from Niles, wants you to know that brightening someone’s day isn’t a complicated mission. Simply think about someone else.
“I have a lot of physical problems. When you think of others, you work beyond that and get blessed at the same time,” said Marcie Danyi, who declined to have her photo taken because of illness.
For several years, Danyi has been mailing 6-inch-by-9-inch envelopes to people she knows and to people she doesn’t. Packed in each envelope are several typewritten pages of clean, uplifting jokes culled from the collection she’s been amassing for that last 40 or 50 years.
Pages are headed with such quotes as “Laughter is the shock absorber of life’s blows” and “Laughter is, and will always be, the best form of therapy.”
Even the envelopes are inscribed with words of encouragement. In her neat, almost calligraphic printing, Danyi writes beneath the return address label, “The Joke Lady — 78 1/2 and still harmless.” A common phrase on the backside: “You matter to God … and to others.”
Danyi said she’s amazed at how God can use just a common, ordinary homebound person who never really went anywhere to brighten the days of so many people from coast to coast.
“This is your calling,” a niece in Washington state wrote. “You make us laugh and put a smile on our faces.”
Her mailing list includes the Niles police and fire departments (“What award do you give a firefighter? — Most extinguished”), a great deal of the businesses in town and “anybody who pops into my mind.”
Danyi said the world would be a brighter, happier place “if people would just pay attention to their neighbors, anybody they can think of, especially those who live alone.”
A NILES GIRL
Danyi was born and raised in Niles. “I love this town.”
She said her career consisted of office work and “anything that needed to be done.”
“I worked for an electrical contractor, and the guys would come in at night and drop everything on the floor,’ she said. “I would sort them out. What a mess.”
Another job memory: “I owned one of the first Mustangs in 1965. I had a pink and white Mustang. I worked for a trucking company back then. I let one of the parts guys go to lunch in it.”
He pulled up to a light and a truck driver looked down at him and shook his head. “Really?”
Danyi gets a kick out of that story. And it proves that a person who is hesitant to begin a joke ministry for lack of fancy and finessed material is missing the point. Anyone who can see the humor in daily life and ordinary situations can bless someone else’s day, she said.
MINISTRY OF MIRTH
The joke ministry “started out as making posters in 2016 for Sparkle Market. I wanted to do something for the workers,” she said.
But the roots were set long before then.
In the 1980s, she started a Scripture card ministry to people in her church.
Later, she wrote letters to prison inmates. “That was fear and trembling,” she said.
She notes she neither writes her own material nor is a performer, but sometimes the situation calls for it.
“I spent a lot of time in nursing homes with a couple of aunts and a cousin. At lunchtime, they’d bring them in, and they’d sit around staring at each other. It was boring,” she said. “I dug out my jokes and started reading.”
“Normally, I’m a serious person. This is my alter ego, I guess,” she said.
As illnesses kept her at home more and more, the ministry shifted to the U.S. Postal Service.
In December, she sent an apologetic letter to one of her “subscribers” after having to take a break because of health issues flaring up: “I haven’t given up, but I have slowed down quite a bit. Still, I continue to search for jokes (an obsession!) with the hope that I can continue to organize them and get them typed.”
She loved to collect quips, quotes and conundrums. Labeled file folders stashed in a storage box are stuffed with decades’ worth of stories and gentle humor.
“Now I’m hooked up to the internet. Now I can find jokes by category,” she said. “With a category, you can find specific jokes.”
Her firefighter friends receive firefighting humor while a joke packet for a plumber friend is stuffed with silly stories that relate to him.
“I pay attention to what people say,” she said. A person who mentioned a new cat received a packet that included three pages of cat jokes, plus a comic strip clipping about cats.
Among the cat quips:
“Cats probably think we are cleaning our ice cream cones.”
“What did the cat say after eating two robins lying in the sun? ‘I just love baskin’ robins.'”
“It’s my dog and cat’s world. I’m just here to open the cans.”
It’s not just jokes. A person talking about Vietnam received a 30-year-old magazine article she saved on the topic. Yes, she saves interesting stories, too.
Lifting spirits and caring about others is wonderful, she said.
“People just need something different in their lives,” Danyi said.
INSPIRATION
Her favorites to binge-watch on YouTube include humorist and former Miss North Carolina Jeanne Robertson and Christian comedian Dennis Swansberg. She admires both the humor and the Southern accents. She also loves pulling up videos of comedians Michael Jr., Jeff Foxworthy and Mark Lowry.
One of her heroes is Phyllis Diller, who was born in 1917 in Lima.
“Phyllis’ 53,000 jokes, on 3-by-5 index cards, in a steel cabinet with 48 drawers, were donated to the Smithsonian museum,” she said.
Some of her favorite Diller lines:
“Light travels faster than sound. That’s why some people seem bright until they speak.”
“I do dinner in three phases: Serve the food, clear the table, bury the dead.”
“I spent seven hours in a beauty shop — and that was just for the estimate.”
Danyi also draws inspiration from her faith, which she also loves to share in her mailings.
“I want to get some Scriptures in them, very simple verses on God’s comfort, God’s presence,” she said.
As it is, the footnote at the bottom of most pages of jokes is this: “A cheerful heart is good medicine …” Proverbs 17:22A.
She said she’s disappointed that many churches seem to have slacked off on the Biblical command to care for orphans and widows, and to meet needs.
She’s grateful for her task and the help she receives doing it.
“I’m a project person, always have been all my life,” she said. “I keep wondering, is this what the Lord wants me to do?”
It all can seem so trivial, she said. But the response from her day-brighteners assures her that she’s following the correct course.
“Four different people sent me a total of 11 books of stamps for Christmas. Awesome. I’m thankful for the support,” Danyi said.
So she keeps thinking of others, keeps sorting through her files for cheerful heart medicine and keeps sending envelopes.
“I just wish I could see their smiles,” she said.
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A large, well established, lumber camp advertised that they were looking for a good lumberjack. The very next day, a skinny little man showed up at the camp with his axe and knocked on the head lumberjack’s door. The head lumberjack took one look at the little man and told him to leave.
“Just give me a chance to show you what I can do,” said the skinny man.
“Okay, see that giant redwood over there?” said the lumberjack. “Take your axe and go cut it down.”
The skinny man headed for the tree, and in five minutes he was back knocking on the lumberjack’s door.
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