Are you a morning person? If so, you probably won’t appreciate these quotes. Nope. These funny quotes about mornings, good mornings, and the people that wish such things on others are decidedly negative. These funny “good morning” quotes are for the night owls, the sleep-til-noon-and-still-need-caffeine type people, the “but first, coffee” folks. Our people. Of course, if you’re a morning person, we harbor no hard feelings towards you. That is until you attempt to spread that pre-noon cheer or suggest we do absolutely anything other than sleep before the sun reaches its peak position… and then starts its descent once again.
It is just for these decidedly un-morning people that we’ve rounded up these funny and sometimes sassy quotes about mornings. Perfect for a chuckle before you roll over and go back to sleep. Rest assured, when we do have to roll out of bed, these quotes — and lots of coffee — will make us smile because they will be truly relatable.
- Do you wish me a good morning, or mean that it is a good morning whether I want it or not; or that you feel good this morning; or that it is a morning to be good on? – J.R.R. Tolkien
- Never face facts; if you do you’ll never get up in the morning. – Marlo Thomas
- Morning is wonderful. Its only drawback is that it comes at such an inconvenient time of day. – Glen Cook
- Every single day I wake up and make up my mind that I am going to work really hard. Then my mind laughs at me and says ‘Good joke.’ Then we laugh for some more time and I go back to bed. – Gehenna Toss
- I hate when I dream of alarm clocks going off. – Jarod Kintz
- Moist groaned. It was the crack of seven and he was allergic to the concept of two seven o’clocks in one day. – Terry Pratchett
- Some people wake up drowsy. Some people wake up energized. I wake up dead. – James Marsden
- Morning will come, it has no choice. – Marty Rubin
- Everyone wants me to be a morning person. I could be one, only if morning began after noon. – Tony Smite
- So far as I know, anything worth hearing is not usually uttered at seven o’clock in the morning; and if it is, it will generally be repeated at a more reasonable hour for a larger and more wakeful audience. – Moss Hart
- Good morning is a contradiction of terms. – Jim Davis
- There should be a rule against people trying to be funny before the sun comes up. – Kristen Chandler
- I love the early hours of the day. It’s a nice place to visit but I wouldn’t want to live there. – James Lileks
- Birds scream at the top of their lungs in horrified hellish rage every morning at daybreak to warn us all of the truth, but sadly we don’t speak bird. – Kurt Cobain
- Keep the dream alive: Hit the snooze button. – Punit Ghadge
- Progress isn’t made by early risers. It’s made by lazy men trying to find easier ways to do something. – Robert Heinlein
- Mornings are pure evil from the pits of hell, which is why I don’t do them anymore. – Rachel Caine
- The first thing I do in the morning is brush my teeth and sharpen my tongue. – Dorothy Parker
- Every morning is a battle between the superego and the id, and I am a mere foot soldier with mud and a snooze button on her shield. – Catherynne Valente
- Even bad coffee is better than no coffee at all. – David Lynch
- The average, healthy, well-adjusted adult gets up at seven-thirty in the morning feeling just plain terrible. – Jean Kerr
- My routine is to ride that snooze button as far as it will take me, take a quick shower, get dressed in the dark and bolt out the door. – Willie Geist
- Today’s goals: Coffee and kindness. Maybe two coffees and then kindness. – Nanea Hoffman
- I like coffee because it gives me the illusion that I might be awake. – Lewis Black
- I may be drunk, Miss, but in the morning I will be sober and you will still be ugly. – Winston Churchill
- One morning I shot an elephant in my pajamas. How he got into my pajamas I’ll never know. – Groucho Marx
- I wake up every morning at nine and grab for the morning paper. Then I look at the obituary page. If my name is not on it, I get up. – Benjamin Franklin
- You feel a little older in the morning. By noon I feel about 55. – Bob Dole
- Morning comes whether you set the alarm or not. – Ursula Le Guin
- The brain is a wonderful organ; it starts working the moment you get up in the morning and does not stop until you get into the office. – Robert Frost
- Every morning I get up and look through the Forbes list of the richest people in America. If I’m not there, I go to work. – Robert Orben
- Sometimes I wake up and think I should start wearing a beret, but I don’t do it. – Mitch Hedburg
- I’m sorry for people who don’t drink. They wake up in the morning, that’s as good as they’re going to feel all day. – Frank Sinatra
- Everyone should experience a sunrise at least once a day. – Phil Dunphy
- It sounds plausible enough tonight, but wait until tomorrow. Wait for the common sense of the morning. – H.G. Wells
September 21, 2020 at 02:00PM
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30+ Perfectly Accurate, Funny Quotes About “Good Mornings” - Scary Mommy
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