Published Oct 16, 2020
The president's Operation, parental tablet frustration, Spiderman multiplication, NBC ratings desperation, and much more from this week in funny tweets.October 9
Just overheard a very sad inner monologue from a man in the grocery store, standing in front of the ice cream section, who asked himself aloud "do I want ice cream? .... *pause* .. do I deserve ice cream ? No."
— Tess Owen (@misstessowen) October 9, 2020
"Third World" refugee here. I have a PhD in English and I won a Pulitzer Prize in Fiction. What have you done? @LaurenWitzkeDE https://t.co/QLS8pRToKq
— viet thanh nguyen (@viet_t_nguyen) October 10, 2020
very naive of me to not have realized until recently that almost everybody on this stage is on cocaine pic.twitter.com/TMZVsoY41K
— LB™️ "π¨π°π°π₯ π΄π΅πΆπ§π§" π’ (@LydiaBurrell) October 10, 2020
Dolly Parton has been married for 54 years and I have never seen her husband not one time π goals?
— Fawn Moscato (@tinnkky) October 9, 2020
And we go live to the Fox News on-air medical examination of President Trump: pic.twitter.com/5XsDkH9jky
— Stephen Colbert (@StephenAtHome) October 10, 2020
October 10
what the hell is wrong with the kids in my neighborhood pic.twitter.com/gyDHrItgkm
— carter hambley (@carterhambley) October 10, 2020
Of course white people steal lingo, we tried to come up with some on our own and landed on awesomesauce
— Maggie? Winters? (@saggiesplinters) October 10, 2020
Parents in Parents in
— poltergregst (@WeedlordKrillin) October 10, 2020
2020 B.C. 2020 A.D.
π€
These kids and their
damn tablets
October 11
I finally get the "Sleepy Joe" meaning. We elect Biden. We get some sleep. ππ»
— Thalia (@Tfort9) October 11, 2020
I am fine with Bill Burr's monologue it's his actions as attorney general that have me worried
— kevin o'shea (@OSheaComputer) October 11, 2020
Video Game Idea: it is 1988 and you have to bathe all of the Traveling Wilburys.
— Michael A. Balazo (@mbalazo) October 12, 2020
October 12
Someone needs to ask Amy Coney Barrett how she feels about the fact that donated fetal tissue from an abortion saved Trump's life.
— The Volatile Mermaid (@OhNoSheTwitnt) October 12, 2020
Me getting in trouble for being too fancy pic.twitter.com/UHVwFP19HX
— Haunted Chris Locke House (@chrislockeworld) October 12, 2020
A thread https://t.co/mzZ4yRjISR
— Paul F. Tompkins (@PFTompkins) October 12, 2020
October 13
still one of my favorite jokes of all time pic.twitter.com/NQs8b7SUpy
— Will Martin (@mrwillmartin) October 13, 2020
Movie titles should be more descriptive, I don't want any surprises pic.twitter.com/W7VIMj7qbb
— Joe McAdam (@joemcadam) October 13, 2020
Look just tell me if the pandemic will go on so long that I'll finally have to watch "Schitt's Creek"
— Ken Jennings (@KenJennings) October 13, 2020
October 14
there will never be a better opportunity to use this image pic.twitter.com/nyAeyVCmEI
— ππ» Brian π»π (@SortaBad) October 15, 2020
There was never any lockdown. There was just middle-class people hiding while working-class people brought them things.
— JJ Charlesworth (@jjcharlesworth_) October 14, 2020
podcast called "too many guys" and its just 12 guys trying to talk at the same time
— boss (@boss_on_here) October 15, 2020
my plastic vampire fangs thay ON during thex
— Rachel (@femaleredhead) October 15, 2020
October 15
guns n' roses only criteria for calling a place "paradise:"
— nate of the living dead (@MNateShyamalan) October 15, 2020
1) women are attractive
2) grass normal color
When your costume is on point but your mom makes you wear a jacket pic.twitter.com/zxXDVWcnDT
— Adam (@adamgreattweet) October 15, 2020
The only good thing about these two competing town hall events is that they show how much Biden is held to a different standard as an actual rational human being while Trump just has to get through an hour without lighting a bucket of mice on fire
— Tom Nichols (@RadioFreeTom) October 16, 2020
The Link LonkI can't remember the last time I was this shocked by an NBC programming decision.
— Conan O'Brien (@ConanOBrien) October 15, 2020
October 17, 2020 at 12:20AM
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This Funny Week in Funny Tweets: October 16, 2020 - Exclaim!
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