Published Nov 06, 2020
The President is almost gone, achieving the Sufjan, what is Jr. on, Paul Reiser is unfamiliar with Theon, and much more from this week in funny tweets.October 30
Between Brett Favre and Eric Bolling, Trump has the unwanted dick pic vote locked.
— JeremyNewberger (@jeremynewberger) October 30, 2020
Oh yeah, that's some mediocre coke. https://t.co/MhZHSnXtbz
— I Have Become Pennsylvania (@TonyAtamanuik) October 30, 2020
This morning I saw my cat out in the yard hunched over something, yowling his head off and I went out and saw he had this thing cornered and I couldn't quite tell what it had been so I called animal control and they came over and trapped it in this big like bucket type thing 1/
— Wendy Molyneux (@WendyMolyneux) October 31, 2020
October 31
he wears a mask https://t.co/hy7UAMYF4Z
— Matt Oswalt (@MattOswaltVA) November 1, 2020
Here it is. The definitive list of Trump's 100 Most Tremendous Scandals. pic.twitter.com/6XTOIaInGs
— The Daily Show (@TheDailyShow) October 31, 2020
https://t.co/dEFzYGFoLc pic.twitter.com/EMvgadzmh8
— billy eichner (@billyeichner) October 31, 2020
Imagine dying because you wanted to hear once last rant about Hillary's emails.
— Schooley (@Rschooley) October 31, 2020
November 1
Noah's wife: the ark is falling apart
Noah: glue might work, I have an idea
Horse: it's weird he brought 3 of us
— Jon (@ArfMeasures) November 1, 2020
— Dave Itzkoff (@ditzkoff) November 2, 2020
A Trump rally is the perfect place to shop for the children in your life. pic.twitter.com/rqdek5byv5
— The Good Liars (@TheGoodLiars) November 1, 2020
November 2
Ultimate election result: "The Sufjan" pic.twitter.com/ZjLjPJ7A6r
— pixelatedboat aka "mr tweets" (@pixelatedboat) November 3, 2020
If Biden doesn't win, 538 had better be a Spirit Halloween next year.
— Daniel Kibblesmith (@kibblesmith) November 3, 2020
Not going to live-check anything else from Trump's ongoing Michigan rally, but just want to let you know he still has not been named Michigan's Man of the Year.
— Daniel Dale (@ddale8) November 2, 2020
November 3
Tonight's the night we see if hockey legend Bobby Orr still holds his once unshakeable influence over American politics.
— Michael A. Balazo (@mbalazo) November 3, 2020
we're all on the same page that the past four years are the Real America not just a fluke right
— giabuchi lastrassi (@jaboukie) November 4, 2020
I don't get it Biden did everything right. He didn't campaign, he had Alzheimer's, he made the election all about Trump and didn't offer a positive case for himself, he took corporate money, he condemned looting and supported fracking. What happened?
— David Specturkey (@spectordeforce) November 4, 2020
God, I love the first night of Election Week. So festive. We broke out the traditional stress ball garlands and I'm going to carve the Xanax in about 20 minutes.
— Patton Oswalt (@pattonoswalt) November 4, 2020
other countries really watching america right now and hoping we get it together like we're bubbles from the wire
— Desus Nice (@desusnice) November 4, 2020
A party that doesn't win the White House in a landslide after the incumbent killed 230,000 people should engage in some self-reflection, I think
— Kate Aronoff (@KateAronoff) November 4, 2020
This. Is. Amazing. https://t.co/2Ej2pxxL9W
— Jim Gaffigan (@JimGaffigan) November 3, 2020
if trump loses can no one tweet taunt him please cuz he still has the nuclear codes for 3 more months thanks
— JEN KIRKMAN 👩🏻💻 (@JenKirkman) November 3, 2020
November 4
startin to think the pod didn't save anything
— jamieloftus 🏂 (@jamieloftusHELP) November 4, 2020
This is Brett Kavanaugh if his parents couldn't afford prep school pic.twitter.com/zxvAXZ4bvW
— Jess Dweck (@TheDweck) November 5, 2020
CNN the last 24 hours pic.twitter.com/a0XJO7de0w
— Michael Kosta (@michaelkosta) November 5, 2020
Biden could still pull off the historical sweep of every state Steve Miller has been to in Keep On Rockin Me Baby
— Jason Isbell (@JasonIsbell) November 4, 2020
I assume this be for the 230,000 Americans who died of Covid? https://t.co/34z8jeQxAR
— Matt Oswalt (@MattOswaltVA) November 5, 2020
Pick a struggle. https://t.co/bkXJCKQUYc
— Gabrielle Union (@itsgabrielleu) November 5, 2020
BREAKING: Nation anxiously waits to see if man leading by 3.4 MILLION VOTES will become the next President.
— Fifty Shades of Whey (@davenewworld_2) November 5, 2020
Very responsible of the Democrats to rig the election, but not take the Senate or a supermajority in the House
— Zack Bornstein (@ZackBornstein) November 5, 2020
November 5
When all the theatre kids are in the other party https://t.co/jrUf4ACJjx
— Jill Twiss (@jilltwiss) November 5, 2020
NEW: I'm told that President Trump can't get his messaging straight on counting the votes because he doesn't understand what "stop the count" means. On a call this morning, an adviser had to explain to him that if they stopped counting votes right now, he would lose the election.
— Olivia Nuzzi (@Olivianuzzi) November 6, 2020
Let me get this straight, lying liar who consistently has said bigoted things and has a long history of racism (hello birtherism!) lies about doing a thing for Black people that he'll never do because he's a chronic liar and people think he's lying? https://t.co/fN7MCxFaUn
— Soledad O'Brien (@soledadobrien) November 5, 2020
Didn't want this to get lost today https://t.co/1bJ8qcA11m
— Gabe Delahaye (@gabedelahaye) November 5, 2020
Haha that's right, motherfucker! You kill 230,000 people and you get what's coming to you: you barely lose an election
— Chase Mitchell (@ChaseMit) November 5, 2020
When you ask your partner to name all the people they've been with before you and they start answering honestly https://t.co/n053E3uVLN
— Jhanelle (@JhanelleDennis) November 5, 2020
Dear White House Movers:
— Conan O'Brien (@ConanOBrien) November 6, 2020
Ask for the money up front. pic.twitter.com/TERrL1yDvL
.@realdonaldtrump please DM, we have FRESH evidence from West Philadelphia that a couple of guys are up to no good, starting to make trouble in the neighborhood
— The Daily Show (@TheDailyShow) November 6, 2020
because we know how stupid it fuckin looks lmao https://t.co/12lmXfV2aq
— chrissy teigen (@chrissyteigen) November 5, 2020
The guy the GOP is sending to war in Philly vs. the actual Lt. Governor of Pennsylvania pic.twitter.com/MuCjLn8cWL
— Zack Bornstein (@ZackBornstein) November 5, 2020
The Link LonkHE FELT THE PRESSURE AND TRIED TO DAP ME UP LOL pic.twitter.com/pcBEVheHt8
— pro bowl mvp (@rynej__) November 5, 2020
November 07, 2020 at 05:52AM
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This Funny Week in Funny Tweets: November 6, 2020 - Exclaim!
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