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Tuesday, December 8, 2020

Best Christmas jokes and puns - Metro.co.uk

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Friends reading out Christmas cracker jokes.
Can’t wait for Christmas Day? we’ve got our own crackers here… (Picture: Getty)

It’s the most punderful time of the year – and this Christmas, we could all do with plenty of laughter and feel-good festive vibes.

Whether you’re looking for the perfect one-liner for an Instagram caption or you just need a truly terrible Christmas cracker joke, we ho-ho-hope these will raise a smile.

Read on for a selection of Christmas cracker jokes and puns guaranteed to raise a smile round the festive dinner table.

Christmas cracker jokes and cheesy Christmas jokes

What’s an elf’s favourite type of music? Wrap.

What happens if you eat Christmas decorations? You get tinsel-it is.

Why did Santa put a clock in his sleigh? He wanted to see time fly!

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What did Santa name his dog? Santa Paws!

What do Santa’s elves learn in school? The elf-abet

What was Santa’s best subject in school? Chemistree.

Where does Santa stay when he goes on vacation? At a ho-ho-ho-tel.

How does Father Christmas wash his hands? With Santa-tizer.

Pulling cracker
The Christmas cracker joke is as much a tradition as presents and turkey (Picture: Getty)

Christmas puns for social media

Shake it like a pole-oriod picture.

I’m pine-ing for you.

Sleigh my name, sleigh my name.

All the jingle ladies, all the jingle ladies…

There’s snow place like home.

The snuggle is real.

Believe in your elf.

Taking a photo on phone
Sleigh your social media game this Christmas (Picture: Getty)

But wait—there’s myrrh – here are some Christmas knock knock jokes for good measure.

Knock, knock!
Who’s there?
Gladys.
Gladys who?
Gladys Christmas. How about you?

Knock, knock
Who’s there?
Honda.
Honda who?
Honda first day of Christmas my true love sent to me…

Knock, knock!
Who’s there?
Dexter.
Dexter who?
Dexter halls with boughs of holly…

MORE : The official roundup of all the best Christmas sandwiches you can buy now

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December 08, 2020 at 02:00PM
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Best Christmas jokes and puns - Metro.co.uk

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