Many parents won't say it out loud, but in the chaos and exhaustion of raising children they will often tell a few little white lies to make the job easier.
From the mean 'if you're naughty Santa won't bring you gifts' to the more terrifying 'If you swallow pips, a tree will grow out of your face'.
Sometimes quick-thinking mums and dads tell funny fibs to stop them from doing things or get them to do something depending on the situation.
This can include getting them to turn off the TV, trying to get them to eat their fruit and veg or to avoid paying for an ice cream.
Here, we have rounded up the most hilarious fibs told by parents.
Please feel free to add your own gems in our comments section.
1. You'll get square eyes if you watch too much TV
This one's a classic. It's been used in families for years to stop children from staring at the screen for hours on end. You might have added the laptop, iPad and mobile phone to the list.
2. Your hair would go curly if you ate all your crusts
Still waiting on our luscious locks mum but okay.
3. They don't sell new batteries for that toy
There's always a toy that gets on your nerves. It may be one that makes annoying sounds or has too many flashing lights. The only peace you'll get is when the batteries run out.
4. If you eat your spinach, you will get strong like Popeye
Ok, this is one older generations will remember. In the popular cartoon, Popeye the sailor man gulps down some spinach and instantly develops big muscles. A great example to set for the litte ones.
5. Your dog 'has to go live on a farm'
Well this ones just mean!
6. Oh you wouldn't like Coke, it tastes like horrible medicine
This will do with any fizzy drink you don't want your child to drink.
7. If you bite your nails too far down you'll lose your fingers
If that didn't stop you we doubt much will.
8. Santa won't come if you're awake
So many Santa threats, all mean. Don't do that.
9. If you eat the pips of an apple a tree would grow out of your ears
If you want us to eat more fruit - why would you say this?!
10. Bruises help you grow
When your son or daughter has hurt themselves, this great phrase comes in handy.
11. Carrots will help you see in the dark
We know carrots are good for you, but seeing in the dark? Yep, it's been said by many a parent.
12. The ice cream van was a child catcher
This joke probably wouldn't fly these days, ice cream staff are basically child hood heroes, let's leave them that way.
13. Or, when the ice cream van plays its tune it means they have run out of ice cream
Now that's just cruel, isn't it?
14. If you frown the wind will change and your face will be stuck like that
Nothing like when you were genuinely sad or angry trying to fix your face... just in case.
15. The big man whose belly shakes like a bowl full of jelly
You know who we mean. Nuff said.
16. The smoke detectors and alarm sensors are Santa cams
How can Santa see us? How does he know if we are being good or not? He watches us through the smoke detectors and alarm sensors of course.
The Link LonkDecember 28, 2020 at 10:55PM
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The funny and mean lies parents always tell their children - Lancs Live
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Funny
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