Practical jokes have always been a part of who I am. Knowing full well I would be paid
back, I have just never been able to pass up a good practical joke. Over the past few
years, I have had played several funny ones and have been the recipient of many funnier
ones.
My youngest son became the practical joker in our family. When he was growing up I
was always on guard because I never knew just what he might do next. Of course, I have
to admit he probably got that trait from his mother.
I was recently reminded of the time he really pulled a good one on me. Knowing how
deathly afraid I am of snakes he bought a very real looking fake one and wrapped it
around the gallon milk jug in the refrigerator. He then positioned it where the head was
sticking up like it was ready to strike and placed the container right in front where it
would most assuredly startle the person who opened the refrigerator door.
That person happened to be me. Our cat and I were the only creatures in the house that
day when I opened the refrigerator door. I really don’t think startle is quite the word I
would use to describe my feelings when I saw that snake’s head.
The cat was sitting at the end of the kitchen cabinet enjoying the peace and quiet when I
screamed, grabbed the cold snake and flung it across the kitchen. It landed on the cat and
wrapped itself around her neck. She jumped a mile high and bolted for the stairs. I
honestly believe her “yeow” was much more blood curdling than was my scream. I don’t
think her paws hit the floor until she landed upstairs. We often laughed about the fact that
she lost one of her nine lives that day.
Recently I was reminded of The Mr.’s love for practical jokes and mentioned it at his
Celebration of Life. Late one morning a few years ago I was in a hurry so to save time I
did something I rarely, if ever, do. Clad in only my bare necessities, I grabbed my laptop
and placed it on the kitchen table. Sitting with my back to the door I was hurriedly
checking my emails.
Our neighbors across the street are known to stop by every so often, just to make sure
everything is alright with us. So, as I was sitting there, the Mr. came by, stood beside me
giving me the ‘once over’. I looked at him and said, “What?” He replied, “Nothing, I’m
headed for the garage”. I heard the garage door open and then the back door opened again
and I heard The Mr. say, “Come on in Chris; she’s here somewhere.”
As I have stated before, I’m usually not a very speedy person. However, if you were to
calculate the speed of lightning you might have some idea as to how fast I bolted from
the table. The chair fell over as I flew out of the kitchen.
It was then that I knew I was the brunt of the Mr.’s practical joke. Of course, Chris was
nowhere in sight (thank goodness) and the Mr. was laughing so hard he couldn’t say a
word.
Payback time wasn’t a surprise for him. He didn’t have a clue when or how, but one thing
he knew for sure is that it would happen without warning, when he least expected it and nothing he could do would prepare him for it nor prevent it from happening.
Unpredictable, but rewarding; such was our life together.
May 16, 2021 at 06:00PM
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Betty Heath: Practical jokes and me - Longmont Times-Call
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Joke
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